Fourteen Feet of Fear
By Nicha Jaroensuk
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Driving a car is a dangerous, scary task. There’s a joke, “What’s the scariest thing behind the wheel? An Asian girl with a cellphone.” Everyone who’s ever been in my car would tell you, I don’t even need a cellphone to prove that that’s not a joke.
Yet, here I am, standing beside this fourteen-feet U-Haul I’m driving from Chicago to New York City on my own. I don’t know much about cars, let alone a U-Haul truck. I don’t know much about driving on the left side of the road, let alone trying to navigate it in a car the size of half a boat ( okay, a small boat but from where I’m standing, it might as well be a yacht.) In fact, my US driving license is only a week old. I drowned myself in embarrassment during the parallel parking portion specifically for this life-changing trip.
As I say farewell to my college roommate, I feel a little melancholic, not because we are parting ways but because I might very well die from a tragic U-Haul accident. Anyway, it’s too late now, everything is packed and ready to go (down with me). I’ve made myself a bunch of mixed CDs for the trip, filled with music that will make me think I’m the best damn driver the world has ever seen. I also have this thing called a TomTom navigator which was said to be a loyal travel companion. After all, ending up in Memphis instead of New York City would be a perplexing how-the-hell-did-that-happen moment I couldn’t afford to have.
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What lies ahead is an Interstate called I-90E, which will take me through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania and eventually to The Big Apple - my new home. Four states with the unknown in every corner and one night in every serial killer’s wet dream, also known as Motel Six - The United States of America, here I come. Drivers on the right side of the road, you’ve been warned.
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Indiana and Ohio are no different from one another, the roads, even though they seem endless, they are as straight as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Parched yellow cornfields and clear sky for miles, if I make it through another hour without any hiccups, I will pat myself on the back and supersize my meal at Wendy’s.
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Before I could even say “Supersize, please”, I’m low on gas and there it is - a hiccup. I grew up in Bangkok, which means a gas station staff has always filled up the tank. I’ve never touched a nozzle in my entire life and the gas dispensing machine (I think that’s what it’s called), how does it even work? I circle around the U-Haul to find that hole for the nozzle - the first challenge, conquered.
Five minutes of looking at my dumb face through an out-of-body experience later, I remind myself I’m a college graduate and there’s no way I will lose to a dial pad and a credit card slot on a gas dispensing machine. I bravely punch in the dollar amount and swipe my credit card, a rumbling sound runs through the nozzle. I may not be patting myself on the back right now but I’ve definitely earned my rights to supersize at Wendy’s.
Pennsylvania is a state full of screams. While the greenery is amazingly lush, the twists and turns are going to be the end of me, possibly literally. Pennsylvania is where I experience the power of inertia, nevermind the sharp turns and the scary watch-out-for-falling-rocks roadsigns, trying to keep the wheels straight with all my might as another truck passes by is enough to keep me horrified throughout the entire state.
After a major betrayal from my TomTom navigator, I’m now stuck in the last situation on Earth I expected to be in - driving a U-Haul in the middle of busy Times Square. I’ve been scared before, but never quite like this. I hide as the surrounding drivers look inside my vehicle. This is one of those situations I truly understand that classic line in war movies - “We are never going to make it out alive” I’m definitely not doing a good job debunking the stereotype of Asian girl drivers - the shame is all mine.
Fear can lead to many things, if you’re lucky, it will lead you to a pleasant surprise…at yourself. Standing in front of my new apartment in Brooklyn in one piece, I feel nothing but surprise and, actually, a bit proud. Driving is a dangerous, scary task but what’s even more dangerous is never conquering something scary. What I’ve picked up from this monumental road trip is the knowledge that as long as your hands are firmly on the wheel and your eyes are always on where you are going, a fulfilling surprise could be waiting at the destination.